we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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