You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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