Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
