I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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