nut hugger
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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