some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize