my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you would pick up someone in the library
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
