well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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