I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize