Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
