this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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