Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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