mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
