Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
