I think I died a long time ago.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
