You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Randomize
