Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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