It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
