one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
