OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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