I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
