We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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