They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
