shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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