sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
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The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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