I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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