I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
