I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize