i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
