Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.