Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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