I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
