I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
