Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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