the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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