We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
