I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
