I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
