So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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