Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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