Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
