The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she pinky promised me she was 18
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
