I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
