some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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