Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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