she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize