You're my little dorito
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
