Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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