sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
