Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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