If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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