my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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