angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
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