you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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