I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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