Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
