I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
