i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
