I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
