i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
