i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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