Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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