Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
