I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
