Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
