Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
