Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
