I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
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No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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