all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
